Scrubbed Clean!

In all these years of going to the parlor for my monthly cleaning, scrubbing, de-hairing and overall, trying to look more presentable, I have never felt THIS scrubbed clean ever before. 

On this visit, the parlor had this new lady stylist; and maybe because I am among their less fussy, less difficult clients, they usually do not think twice before letting the new ladies  learn their parlor crafts on me. 

It really is tough being kind, you know. (That should be rewarded really, not punished!)

It's not that she was lazy or any less dedicated to her craft in any way. 

If anything, she was quite the opposite.

Yeah! No one's ever looked that happy at the
sight of blackhead removal things!
PC: Google Images.

So after the initial cleaning and steaming and such, her first important task, I think, was the removal of those yucky blackheads. And my! She seemed to be of the school of thought that  "no nose means no blackheads". 

While lying there getting those blackheads removed, which even under the gentlest of hands is a rather painful experience, my only thought was that I would be walking out without a single blackhead on my nose this time (Good job, girl!), considering I was going to be walking out without a nose (erm...).

And then started the massage. The brute strength on my blackheads should have been fair warning really, but my brain simply comforted me that that was only due to those ugly little blackheads she wanted off. She had no reason to hate my face so much, did she.

Well, apparently she did...

And all I could think of while lying there in that ugly, shapeless, parlor gown, was what people would think if I walked out of here with handprints on my face!

After the massage came the eyebrow threading and this time my brain had no excuses left to pacify me. I was trembling. 

When she descended on my brows with absolute dedication and determination to remove all that unseemly hair, all I could seem to think of lying there was, 'when I'm arrested for not having any eyebrows, would "it is my stylist's fault"be enough to bail me out'. 

She would do Wonder Woman proud, I say. 

Way to go, Girl Power. Or not so much! 

Ouch.

Why I stopped making lists!

I was a chronic list maker. From the time I worked in big firms where the only way to get through your next 100 activities was to have a prioritized list of top 20 tasks for the day TO when I stayed at home and planned the things I need to buy, the tasks I needed to complete to have the school admission documents set & ready and so forth, I loved writing it all down in a dated, numbered, to-do fashion in my little black book. And the best part was the tick-off. That satisfaction of completing a task was never really real till one could tick it off from the list. AND the satisfaction from completing the last task of the day, when you ticked off the page itself, whoa! that just cannot be replicated. So yeah, making lists is heady and very satisfactory.

But then like any thing that is heady and satisfying it has a definite downside. And mine was the stress. And probably the addiction.

So, as we all know, each task consists of a number of sub-tasks.
For eg., if one of my tasks said "Get XYZ layout from consultant TODAY!" it would involve me sending an official mail asking for the layout, then giving them a friendly call to make sure everything is on track and to know an approximate time when I could get the same;
There, in case the consultant needed some other detail before they could complete the layout in stipulated time, those had to be arranged for them (which included a couple more mails and calls to other parties) and so on.
So then, I would realize that it would take forever for me to tick off that one task from the list. But, if I couldn't tick things off from the list in a certain time frame I started feeling like I was getting nowhere, like things were not getting done and that it was a very unproductive day. Here I started fretting and stressing. So, in order to feel better and to feel like I have achieved something, I started listing out these little sub-tasks and then ticking them off!Of course, I also listed the sub-tasks so that I wouldn't forget even the smallest of them. Hence the stress and the addiction combined.

Now, the moment I broke down the 20 tasks into 5 sub-tasks each, I'd have a list of 100 tasks to be completed "on priority" today and just looking at it would push me over the edge. These tasks being things like small phone calls and email reminders which would otherwise just get done as part of a normal day without much thought.

The worst part was when I noticed this same trend repeating into everyday chores. The moment I started thinking about and listing down all I would have to do before I packed the kid off to school for example, I would already start fretting.

When things got totally our of hand and the stress mounted immensely, I just started ditching my list and getting through whatever I could get through. And with this was discovered peace of mind. Tasks get done with much less stress. Of course, old habits die hard and I still write small reminders and notes on the major things I simply cannot afford to forget for the day. But I have realized that most things just get done in their own time and we really don't forget the important ones so much. So much more breathing space and calm. Phew!

Married to a Chef

Yeah, so my husband is a Chef...that too at the Taj...Wow! any girls dream right? Oh! To be married to a guy who cooks for you! Well, this article is presented to break some common myths regarding the "advantages" of being married to "Hot Guys who Cook" (to quote from the name of a television series) for all you lovely dames out there; And I am sure all the other lovely dames who are married to a chef would resonate and empathise with every word.

Now, one of the most common and hence most irritating question I have been asked about a zillion times, comes from these giggly, gushing ladies going ga ga and wondering in very excited high pitched tones, with eyes wide open, "ooooooh So he cooks at home? I'm sure you get to eat a lot of fancy things at your own home right!" Oh well sweet ones - who dream of putting your feet up and watching you favorite soaps while your husbands in aprons produce magical, fancily plated pastas and what not in front of you - the answer is a BIG, EMPHATIC "NO"!!!

First of all, being a Chef in ANY hotel in India means, you have no time limits to your work. You have to be there at the hotel when others eat, when others celebrate great holidays, when others want to throw a party and when others want to enjoy a weekend. Which means, you are hardly home with your own family to do any of those things, including eating a meal, let alone "cook".

So the underline is, if I have to eat, I have to cook. And that will be non-fancy survival food like rice, dal, some vegetable chopped and fried and our main survival tools - curd and pickles -meant to eat and live.

Secondly, our lovely 5 star chefs, being so familiar with 5 star burners and ranges and 500 types of knives for cutting, chopping and sheering different things, and 5 star pots n pans n utensils and what not, CANNOT survive in our basic Indian home kitchens. They are lost having to work on 2- burner kitchen stoves, with only the basic human size kadais, non-stick pans to cook in and one or two knives that cut and sheer everything! Ohhh no...how does one manage???!!!

So, rather than standing around explaining that you have to cook that also in that pan, and this knife can cut that vegetable as well, and arguing about "how do you manage" and "how can you not manage, its simpler and hence easier" - you might just go ahead and do it yourself. Save some lost souls in the process. :)

Now, since the guys are less bothered about cooking at home and are more keen about how to spend money on eating an drinking out, my friends of the male kind have another common myth, which goes something like this - " Hey arch, lucky you! so you get to eat free food at the Taj all the time right!". Once again my answer would be another Big Emphatic No!. I have, in the last 3 years of marriage, eaten at my Husband restaurant about 2 times. And though the food was very very enjoyable and the experience was very unique- with most of the guests staring at me in surprise wondering who this important lady might be whom all the other chefs (read my husband friends) are coming and greeting so frequently - it was not like that is my regular food fest. Plus, it turned out to be boring as my husband himself would refuse to accompany me at a table in his own restaurant. Eating alone in a 5 star, being stared at by all the other guests was not really one of the most pleasurable experiences.

So ladies, overall, my life with regards to cooking and eating has been very plain and simple -eating self cooked home food like most other wives and in fact even more sad as I eat it alone most of the times. It hurts you even more when you celebrate Christmas and New Year and Diwali and valentines and everything else alone at home as your husband is out there working hard trying to help others celebrate in style.

Well, hoping that I have not done a lot of damage by disheartening and disillusioning you damsels out there, I think I do owe you a list of some of the good things as well.

First of all, since our guys get so little opportunities to eat at home, the times that they do get to eat, its a pleasure to cook for them, even if it is just en dal n curry n the usual. For them, if you serve anything in the name of "ghar ka khaana" it will be highly appreciated. Well, this one is also case specific cos if your husband is a trained Indian Chef, then it may also lead to criticism. But that way I am lucky as my chef at home is not too keen with Indian cooking himself. So everything that is palatable in the name of home food, however simple that is, as long as it is not burnt and spoilt, you can get away with as classic cuisine.

Secondly, once I have convinced him that a particular knife can actually cut a vegetable very effectively and he is in the mood to help, I get my vegetables cut in under 30 seconds. An activity I dislike the most in my cooking process, that I find the most painful and time consuming. So that is a HUGE Boon.

Moreover, though I did mention earlier that they are hardly ever home for the big festivals and celebration, Pradeep has, over the last 2 new years eve and valentines day, managed to sneak in a few seconds before 12 am, with a lovely gooey, chocolate cake right out of La Patisserie (The taj bakery) and though we didn't spend the whole day together, that gesture has been the most beautiful. Especially if you are regular readers (there are hardly a few I know, but feels good to write those words ;)) you would know that chocolate cakes are one of my top 20 favourite things.

Another thing is, for the life of me and irritation of others who eat out with me, I cannot read a menu and decide what I want to order in a restaurant. So whenever we eat out (and again the regular readers know this is another favourite), having a chef alongside who knows exactly what means what and it suits my taste or not is the biggest boon for me...

Another unique experience has been partying after human hours. Be it one of their colleagues birthdays, send off parties or whatever occasion, the only time everyone gets to get together and party is after something like 2 am when no one in their right minds visits 5 star coffee shops most of the times. Though I was not sure whether to put this in the advantage or disadvantage sessions, as it drastically affects the bloody clocks of normal human beings like us, it has been a very unique experience to be visiting the nocturnal kinds and their parties.

Finally, though my chance of dining at my Pradeep's Hotel has been very limited, I have visited and eaten at more 5 start hotels in the last 1 year than I have in the last 25 years before. This is specifically because when we visit Pradeep's friends (college mates, old colleagues etc.) and as usual they are working all the time, the best thing to do is to visit them at their hotels, which in turn means you eat there and more often than not get the specials.

So signing off on that nice note....damsels, continue dreaming bout marrying the "hot guys who cooks" but only for the right reasons.

The Day of the Deppressing SMS

And just when I needed it the least. At a time when I could really do with some funny messages and nice laughs, today for some reason it felt like Archies Gallery has announced "The depressing SMS Day" to add to the list 730 days in an year!
One of the sms sent by a very close friend of mine went something like this "3 Stages of Life: TEENS - Have Time and Energy but no Money; WORKERS- Have Energy and Money, but no time & OLDIES-Have time and Money, but no Energy" - My first reaction? How depressing!!! What the hell is the whole point of our whole existence if we will never have all 3 together...Ohh no!!! But as I had already decided to not get affected by all the negativity around, I completely blinked away the message and let it go...
In another 15 minutes, a long lost friend suddenly remembered me. I'm sure we have all experienced that uplifting feeling when we are feeling really down and out of the blue, this long lost friend suddenly gets in touch with you. I always felt that it was the best way to feel better immediately - Just chat up with an Old Friend.
Well coming back to the topic - this friend of mine gets in touch with me through an sms which went something like this "When you are in light, everything follows you. But when you enter darkness, not even your shadow stands by you". What???!!! Thank You!!!
I mean, it doesn't even rhyme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could have I screamed or what. And all this on the day my favourite office person was in one of his absolutely worst "I'm-really-dumb-but you-have-to-listen-to-my-speech-for-4-hours-today". And after my 4 hours are wasted, I get another "what-were-you-doing-the-whole-day" speech!!!
And, icing on the cake-the ends with an sms from this above mentioned favourite person which goes something like this "at time of crisis, your days should be a lot more productive than today"...Ohhhh wow....

The TV show, The Famous Law or the Book - Whats my Life Become?

Recently I watched a TV show where the anchor was discussing with a few people this new-age phenomenon called the - Quarter Life Crisis. And there it hit me like lighting- the absolutely Right Condition to describe my situation which was baffling, frustrating and confusing me all these days.

In short, like many of us mid-twenties people (that describes the term "quarter life" according to the program) I find myself in a scenario where, today, I am not sure where I am and where I am heading to...is it the same place where I always wanted to head to...If not what is it that I would REALLY like to be doing and how do I figure THAT out....Arrghhhhhh it really is frustrating...

Well, how all this frustration, confusion and eventually the crisis came about. It can be blamed on the Recession, The standard enemy in the ofice, The Murphy's Law and finally the Catch 22...

The "R" word that hit the globe
Why am I suddenly thinking on those lines? well...the fact of the matter is that I am at a juncture where I am not enjoying what I do...not that i dont like what my work envisages and expects me to do, I in fact love the actual "definition" of my work if only it let me keep doing that. But, wat with the dreaded "R" word, global crisis, lay offs, being constantly scared of being on the dreaded "list", seeing people you know closely falling victim to the "list" that to extremely ruthlessly and inhumanely without any warnings or notice, everyone saving there own backsides which then leads to insecurities, lies, stealing credits, undercutting and what not it really has become very unpleasant to just wake up and head to work. Especially as now we have all been exposed to its darker sides - not so much because people ar ebeing sent off - but more so because of the WAY they have been sent off.

The person we all love at our work place
As, someone very very very smart once said "People dont leave Organizations People Leave People". In short when we get fed up and run away, its not the chairs and workstations we run away from but more often than not (statistically) we leave our direct bosses. I wouldnt even want to start describing this paticular being and the species of this being that i have been exposed to for the last year or so. (all was well before that year....)

Third - The Muphy' Law:
Well, If I didn't believe in this till now, then I have learnt it the HARD way...really hard - If anything can go wrong, it definetily will; and more importantly - Everything that can, always goes wrong all at once. Ohh what an optimistic man our dear Mr. Murphy...
But anyways, to explain things a bit more - my first year of working in Chennai, I managed to finish 3 projects with relatively happy clients and decent acknowledgements. And then started the 4th project in my 2nd year. At the end of my second year im still stuck with the same project. Why???

Well why not - One of those lovely "Non - Indian" clients who start and end their day complaining about the incapabilities of us "mere" indians to our "non-indian" bosses, who incidentaly always "understood" and "agreed" cos - the client is always right;

Then there was this vendor - who believe they are the best in the business, dont have to listen to anyone else that the client has appointed to manages them , meaning us, and thereby went on to completely mess up the project. To top it the guy incharge of the project turned out to be a Male Chauvanist Pig who thought come what may, he wouldn't even consider a girl as a equal human, let report to;

Thirdly, once again, the person we all love so much in our organisation - who knowing all the above situations and my so called "incapalities" of handling them (which in fact he was so happy to highlight all over the place) should have managed to handle them himself and prevented the snr management involvement. But though I am incapable and he was extremely capable did not manage to do any further improvement than I ever did.

And finally, all other small individual things, one or two of which go wrong in different projects all went wrong together in mine!!!
I mean is this a prime definition of murphy's Law or wat???!!!

And Finally - The great Book - The Catch 22:

Now am at a juncture where I hate the whole secnario...the atmosphere sucks...the project has gone to the dogs, everyone is scared and worried and unhappy and I dont want to get out of bed and go back there. BUT, and there it comes - i dont want to be fired as well. Before all this happened and if I get to do wat Im supposed to do - I loved what I do. I wish I could continue doing my job peacefully and I wish I wouldnt be fired. But now I hate it. I think they are inhuman and horrible. I think theres nothing more for it in this as long as I have this Huge roadblock between my job and my management and I, of course, still dont want to be fired and end up un-employed.
If thats not Catch 22, then what is???!!!

Now, i it a wonder if all this had me wondering a very simple thins- if not for some people who made optimistic Laws, wrote Books on optimistic topics and made great TV programs on more optimistic ideas, how owuld I have ever described my Quarter Life Crisis ituation through Murphy's Laws and Catchh 22?