Brave for not continuing to be in my chosen field.
Brave for pausing a career after being in it for ten years to start a venture based on my passion - an attempt to see how one can have even a small impact on the society by doing something good and meaningful.
Someone even said "brave" for leaving behind printouts (as a sign of progressive office) to choosing carbon paper(from billing).
"Brave" is their chosen adjective, maybe because, unfortunately, brave has come to be a synonym for foolish. Or, maybe because "brave" to them doesn't mean "Wow! How?!", but means "Why would you?" instead.
Not wanting to be completely cynical, I do take it as a compliment. I DO. Because, when the society thinks like this, it is indeed brave to choose a different path than the beaten, old, dreary, "safe" one. But one can't help thinking.
Because then, isn't it disappointing how skewed our vision has become? That instead of it being the most natural thing in the world for people being people, following their hearts, doing something that means something to their souls, that makes them happy and helps them leave a mark in this one chance at life we have, this is the "braver" choice.
Whereas, just doing our "duty" to this life as defined by others is normal, accepted and way more respectable even.
The by staying on that logic of "brave", how is it not way more "brave" to give up on your dreams or even worse, to not even stop to think about your dreams or passions and instead just walk through life in a hazy coma on a path you have been always "taught" to be normal and right for you?
By that same logic, how is it not way more "brave" to live your whole life doing what is said to be "safe" and "secure" and "shall provide"; to go to a workplace day after day doing something for 8 hours a day for 6 days a week for maybe 30 years of your life, especially when that particular task gives you no happiness or a sense of fulfillment?
How is it that waking up every day wanting to face the day, wanting to lose yourself in the task at hand, doing something where each moment makes you happy and is not just good for your wallet but amazing for your soul, coming back home tired to the bones but feeling like you made a difference to someone's life, as small as it might be, has become the "braver" option in our heads??? Isn't that really the happier and hence easier option actually?
So in today's date, it is bravery to choose to do something that you love over doing something that makes no difference to your soul other than to earn you a salary or climb an invisible ladder?
I am not saying that money or security isn't important. It would be very foolish to say that. And hypocritical. Because I have done it too.
I mean I have earned a degree, a PG, followed my career for ten solid years, proven to others and more importantly to myself how good I am at that job, I have gone places with it, and had a good idea what I could achieve when I kept at it.
In fact, I know I have created a very strong foundation where I can pick up that career and continue where I left off. So yes, an education, a career and some achievements under your belt are all very important to have.
But the point here is, who decided that this is the end? I always thought those were the means to an end; That that education and those achievements and that experience were meant to finally help us onto a path where we could start thinking of how much more meaningful we can make our lives and how many other lives we could touch and enrich.
I thought that was the next natural progression in our lives and not the final destination! Wow! that is such a dreary final destination if all we were meant to do in this life was follow set paths, fill papers, push files and finally earn a "living". And to choose to do just that is the less "brave" choice?
When do you actually earn this "LIFE"?
This is not generalizing. I perfectly understand that not everyone is in a position to make those choices because of their circumstances.
This post is mainly applicable to those, and there are plenty of "those" out there, whose financial situation is very stable, whose family is secure and cared for,who have all the support of family AND have the education and the experience, ie., all the means to progress from earning a living to earning a life, if they so choose. And still decide not to make that progression because they judge our natural next step as the "brave" choice.
All the "brave" in quotes has the meaning assigned when attributed to the 'next step' people. By which I refer to the meaning in para 1.
BUT, I am not judging those who choose to only continue earning a living as "brave".
But the point here is, who decided that this is the end? I always thought those were the means to an end; That that education and those achievements and that experience were meant to finally help us onto a path where we could start thinking of how much more meaningful we can make our lives and how many other lives we could touch and enrich.
I thought that was the next natural progression in our lives and not the final destination! Wow! that is such a dreary final destination if all we were meant to do in this life was follow set paths, fill papers, push files and finally earn a "living". And to choose to do just that is the less "brave" choice?
When do you actually earn this "LIFE"?
This is not generalizing. I perfectly understand that not everyone is in a position to make those choices because of their circumstances.
This post is mainly applicable to those, and there are plenty of "those" out there, whose financial situation is very stable, whose family is secure and cared for,who have all the support of family AND have the education and the experience, ie., all the means to progress from earning a living to earning a life, if they so choose. And still decide not to make that progression because they judge our natural next step as the "brave" choice.
All the "brave" in quotes has the meaning assigned when attributed to the 'next step' people. By which I refer to the meaning in para 1.
BUT, I am not judging those who choose to only continue earning a living as "brave".
Because I am not judgemental like that.
I am just asking these questions. And wishing that you would really actually mean brave, with all the admiration that word deserves, the next time you attribute it to someone struggling to start-up something that means something to them, instead of wondering why they would do something so stupid.
And oh! P.S
Isn't judging people who do not want the same things in life as you, or chose to not follow the same path as you, a little self-indulgent, egocentric even?
To each his own. Everyone chooses to follow their heart or their pockets, or hopefully, both. How is one choice braver than others?
In my book, everyone is brave in making a choice and sticking to it, whatever that choice is.
Or, everyone is just normal and brave and strong and weak in equal measures.
Unless you are a soldier. Then you are the bravest. Salute.
And oh! P.S
Isn't judging people who do not want the same things in life as you, or chose to not follow the same path as you, a little self-indulgent, egocentric even?
To each his own. Everyone chooses to follow their heart or their pockets, or hopefully, both. How is one choice braver than others?
In my book, everyone is brave in making a choice and sticking to it, whatever that choice is.
Or, everyone is just normal and brave and strong and weak in equal measures.
Unless you are a soldier. Then you are the bravest. Salute.
If you try to segregate the demographics of people who are empathetic and who consider you as 'brave', is there any pattern there?
ReplyDeleteMy hypothesis is that people over 45 might be in the latter group and rest in the former. this is again debatable.
I think folks under 30 might be more aligned to your line of thoughts. Will be very much surprised if it is the other way around.
Actually, in a manner of speakin you are right. Except the older folk do not think I am brave at all. They just establish pretty openly that I might be a little stupid, arrogant even, thankless for throwing away all the oppurtunities that come my way etc. Thankfully, my family is so full of support in this endeavour that it doesn't get to me all the time. But at times it still does.
DeleteAs for the younger ones, or atleast those in my age group, they can be solidly divided into two - those that believe I am genuinely being brave and wish they could theselves feel brave enough to take that step and those that, just like the older crowd, believe I am being foolish, only differene being they just don't say it outright. They are the ones who call me "brave".
Of course there are exceptions in either bunch. People who see the vision. People who see the passion. And people who see the actual cause. Those are the hope. :)
Great post !
ReplyDeleteThis very much describes some of my experiences. It's especially hard when a parent believes that everyone has to be the "same" and live the same way in order fulfill societal demands. And if you don't fit the mould, well then you will be flamed for it. You have to be this and that, have to behave like this (it's not even bad behavior), and as girls, you must get married and be in service to husband and in laws. You have to do what "other people do", not what interests you or what you enjoy. It has happened to me personally. It's like I cannot discover my own self and figure my path in life, which thankfully I have done once away from college. However being part of a very conservative, somewhat "backwards" family, it's never feasible. They want me to get married next year and my mom insists it's not much of an option for me, and so I have start living like the typical "naadan" girl just to attract others' satisfaction. And I have to marry someone according to who they want, not who would be feasible for me if I were to get married. And she tried to made reasons like the traditional society people are "saints" while everyone else is "corrupt and bad." There are several life lessons that I learned and that is 1). No one can never have fulfilling and successful life, or be happy if they don't discover their inner selves, and 2). If they feel to have to please others, it'll never 100% happen and they most likely won't be satisfied with themselves. Hence it's not even worth following a path according to other expectations or because it's considered "culture and tradition" (which is fading rapidly in India). Thank you for writing this, especially as a Keralite living in India, as I don't have a positive impression of the people there anymore.
You're god send regarding this. Thanks so much! :)
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DeleteI am so glad the post reached you and that you could relate to it.
DeleteYes. People seem to have lost sight of what life is really. I am sure initially everyone just did what they want. Then someone met that one person they loved a lot and wanted for themselves and decided on solmnizing that relationship, as a promise. Someone else found their preferred way to live and decided to do only that, trade that service for someone else who didn't like to do that task but liked something else. So that became chosen careers. Now careers and marriage have all become a "To-do" instead of a "love-to-do".
And each day, with each story, I hope that we, as a human race, get our sights back right before it is too late.