Do you suppose that among questions in general, "Why" is the more difficult and, for want of a better word, "Heavy" question to deal with. I mean, of course there are enough and more controversial questions that can be raised with "Who" and "Where" and so on; but I have always felt that "Why" is really the heavier one.
When something really hurtful or sad happens, a lot of us resort to wondering "Why" such a thing would happen. Or sometimes even, "Why me".
Tell a kid to do or not to do something and the first response is a very logical "why" or "why not".
Do something different from the rest, follow a path or make a choice in life that the majority may not make and you are plagued with "why"s. Why are you not married yet. Why no kids yet. Why are you doing this after studying so much. Why did you not continue pursuing your career.
I think it is obvious what prompted this thought. The last few days since The Reading Room began, I have been asked by many many people the reason for such a decision. It is especially the older folks who visit the store that seem pretty disappointed as to why I would give up on my flourishing career to open a small venture of my own.
And the saddest part is words like "passion", "love", "choice" etc. are the most unacceptable of all. Not doing things the "acceptable" or "normal" way, not following the flock because of personal choices and then not having a more convincing (maybe even tragic) reply to their "why" is a pretty challenging spot to be put in constantly.
And if you do reply to the "why" with reasons close to your heart, the confusion and incredulity on their faces is a little bothersome mixed with amusing. I wonder Why.
What is reading room? Something entrepreneurial?
ReplyDeletehttps://www.facebook.com/TheReadingRoomBookStore/ - This is The Reading Room. Yes it is something entrepreneurial. It is all about reading and the love of books. :)
DeleteWent through scenarios like this before. I always ask myself why can't some of the older folks understand that everyone is their own person and should follow their own path in life, rather than be expected to follow some path for others' satisfaction? And if they don't follow that path, they get mocked the shit out of them, criticized and sometimes forced to follow the path just to carry on societal duties/please society. I guess a lot of the people of the younger generations, including me, struggle with this. I am a genuine good person, but I got flamed before because I don't fit what one could call a "traditional Indian girl" and don't "behave" as one (guess that docile girl who never argues back, cooks/cleans and only interests is making husband/in laws happy and rearing children). Also it's funny in most Asian societies, everyone has can only pursue a certain career (doc,engineer), must think the same, get married and have kids. If they are indifferent nor meet the expectations of a community, they get shamed/shitted on. It's as if they are not allowed to think for themselves and pursue their own interests or have their own opinions. There is so much pressure to satisfy these demands and more often than not, it leads unwanted events where children are stressed and unhappy that they sometimes take their own lives because they are brainwashed to believe that they cannot stray away, have failed in pleasing others and really don't know how to think for themselves or resolve the issues. Luckily I know better and am not bothered about "following the crowd". I have had some misfortunes in my life as well, but I was able to get past it even though I probably have gotten shit from relatives..etc. But looking back now, I am pretty surprised that I was able to surpass it, and move on, where I am blessed with new opportunities and can further better myself and my life :)
ReplyDeleteGreat writeup!!
Hey, I am so happy to hear that you got past them. And yes, looking back and seeing what you managed to get through is a constant source of strength. Just focus on your strength though and not what you went through and why. That is the kind of negativty we don't want. I hope you do have people to love and support you for everything you choose. Just a handful of those are good enough to fight all the other judges of our lives who basically have done or even wished us no good anyways. Stay strong and happy. :)
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