The Right Reasons

If you are in a relationship, then you are IN a relationship with THAT person. There is nothing more to it  and nothing less. It automatically implies that you love that person, you love being with them, you trust them, you care for them and are concerned about them, not because you HAVE to, as a sense of duty, but because that concern is what stays on top of your mind naturally, all the time.

And that's all there is. You can't be "in a relationship" with someone for any other reason.You can't stay married because your parents feel ashamed of you if you don't, or because of what the society will say or for the sake of your kids. Of course you can stay married to live under the same roof for these reasons, but you are NOT in a relationship with that person. You are the kid's parents but definitely not each other's partners. And you are not going to fool anyone in the process, not yourselves and especially not the kids.

The only reason to be together? To be in a relationship? To be a couple? If you WANT to be with each other for each other's and YOUR OWN sake. Nothing else, no one else can be reason for a relationship. They may be reason for two strangers living under that roof rather unhappily and making a proud sacrifice of themselves for the sake  of the children and the parent's sense of pride, but they can NEVER be a reason for two people loving each other. 

It's so sad that most of us (including me) think of ourselves as selfish and wrong for putting our happiness, our need to be loved, our need to love the person we are living with etc. as a reason to have a relationship, ahead of all these other reasons. Reasons that will very quickly grow up and have a life of their own, reasons that already have had each other for 30-40 years by now and very soon will not be even around to see what has become of us and yet they comes first and any mention of our happiness becomes selfish and against our culture or ethics or morality. But, if the same couple live the rest of their lives unhappily under one roof, at least till the kids grow up, hating each other and detesting their own lives and eventually detesting the people around them who are happy (and this is the set that makes the "society" which then judges the others who seek happiness), they are are respected and considered ideal. Who will break this chain, this vicious circle of unhappiness that frowns on anyone trying to be happy? I hope the change comes soon for the sake of our kid's, their sanity and their simple happiness.