Always there, but not really...

Today I got a friends request on Facebook. Just like most other friends request, this one was also from someone familiar, an old, distant acquaintance but someone I have hardly spoken to. 

But then there was a small difference in the way I felt about it. basically, this was from someone who I was 'distantly acquainted' to from school and then in college as well. Someone I had always had tremendous respect for, though she wouldn't have been more than 2 years older to me.The kind of person you respect and admire from a distance; you would like to talk to but are also a little afraid of them, afraid that you might not be considered 'good enough' or 'important enough' (yeah that high school thing); someone who gave you a feeling, even as early as school, like talking to them would be similar to approaching someone in power, that they could easily make you feel small, insignificant, but wanting to talk to them nevertheless and NOT feel like that. And then today, after all these years when I got that friends request I just felt warm inside. A connection, that never was. It made me plain happy. (ok, I am truly hoping this doesn't sound too gay. THAT happiness is just being remembered by someone I respected so much so long ago!)

 Also, this was a girl who, everyone in school always knew would do something special, something different. She wouldn't just simply follow the pack. And so, when I got that friends request today and immediately accepted, I wanted to find out what she had been up to all these years. I couldn't figure out much from her profile at first, and then when the discovery slowly revealed to me, I couldn't help but smile to myself. 

Though I have not spoken to her and the details are not clear, it appears to me that she is a founder member of some venture that deals with conducting thinking and communication workshops for kids. :) Now, did it surprise me? No. To begin with, I didn't know her well enough for the choice of field to surprise or not surprise me. And the fact that we always knew that she would be among the people who doesn't do something ordinary, only caused a "Aaha! Why am I not surprised" feeling. There is still that silent admiration, now probably a little more.

And guess what? Though I wanted to send her a message saying how impressive her work is, I realized that after all these years I still carry that silly hesitation to talk to her.

And what affected me the most was that realization that there are so many people in our lives who have been part of it in the vaguest and yet not so vague way for the longest time ever, longer than any friend/any partner, and yet someone we barely know. People who have managed to come and go from our lives for as long as we remember without much conversations, friendships or any relations whatsoever, and yet have always had some kind of an impact as in they have not ever been among the unnoticed ones. I wonder if I have been that person to someone as well. Funny thought that.