Experiences...Beyond Explanation

Many a times have I found myself in a situation where I try to explain certain experiences or just some regular aspects of my life, expecting people to know exactly what I am talking about and nod in agreement, just to realize that I seem to be making no sense whatsoever. The whole aspect is completely lost on those who haven't 'been there and done that'. There used to be a time that I would get very worked up if I failed to explain their importance and advantages. But, over the years I have learned to accept that these same things can seem to be absolutely irrelevant to others, in fact a majority of the others. But, I still wish everyone could experience these at least once and know what they have been missing out in their lives (acceptance is relative...*smiles).Well, to each his own...

So today, I decided I should make a list of some of these irreplaceable, indispensable, the most routine and yet the most precious aspects of my life...

1. Just the other day, I'd been sitting among friends-coffee, conversation et. al, and a couple of us

started talking about pets. I for one have grown up among pet dogs from when I was about 7 and can't imagine life any other way. I can't imagine coming back home not being greeted like the king of the world amidst tail wagging, jumping, whining and licking!

I can't imagine not being loved as unconditionally as that, no expectations, no responsibilities, no grudges and hurt. 'Just be around and I'l love you starry eyed for ever'. Who in today's world love's anyone at all like that? Not in any human relationships for sure...

I can't imagine missing out on the companionship and closeness of the warmth near your feet, the paw on your lap, the occasional wet licks and just the happy presence.

Also, as a kid, dealing with these lovely friends who cant speak, express or understand (but still seem to do just that), taught me patience, understanding, compassion and empathy ...Our home has never felt emptier when one of these furry darlings have not been around. Life with a Pet Dog definitely Tops my charts for the best experiences in the world, but one that you need to experience to understand. :)

2. Coming up a close second would be losing myself amidst the pages of a good book...Whether it is after a hard days work, right before hitting the bed or if its on days like today when I have little else to occupy myself with, nothing can give me more fulfillment and peace than to allow myself to travel the world through the words of a good writer, to meet and know new characters, to feel what they feel, to experience the adventures and emotions and get transported to a new time and place at the turn of each page.I can't start to explain to those who haven't or don't enjoy the experience, but I agree with all my heart with the person who said that"Anyone who says they have only one life to live must not know how toread a book".

3. Some time back, Pradeep and I did a 14-16 hr Chennai Trivandrum road trip. In fact, it wasn't even our first. But the reactions from most of our friends and well wishers when they heard about it were different variations of "are you out of your mind", "what where you two thinking", "why in the world would you do something so unnecessary" and so forth...all delivered with raised eyebrows and incredulous looks. Well, what can one say? The adventure, the thrill, the excitement of stopping at new places, to eat and freshen up, asking for directions, looking for road signs, the music playing, and the togetherness in that small space with no tv, cooking, cleaning, work-calls or anything else to bother you can not be equaled by many other experiences...

Whats more, even this one is a second nature to me thanks to being from a very adventurous family in the matter of long trips. On various occasions, when I was somewhere between 3 years and 9 years old, my parents, our huge Labrador retriever and I have all pooled into our tiny Maruti 800 for 3-4 days road trips from Delhi to kerala and Back, Jabalpur to Kerala and so on and so forth every time my dad would get transferred to a new place. And guess the main purpose of not taking a train? Well, just that trains had horrible facilities to take care of the canine member of our family. (Back to my point 1)*smiles. And this was back in mid to late eighties when the roads were bad, there was no inhabitance for miles n miles, no facilitites like road signs and mobile phones and you wouldnt see another vehicle for hours together, no restaurants and hotels peppering roadsides, we stopped at dhabas for our meals.

Even as I write this I can imagine the eyes of many of the people reading this article, widening in shock and disbelief, and thoughts similar to ones quoted above running through your minds. But guess what, the lessons, joys, adventures, the adjustments, the closeness and the spirit of such an experience is something one will treasure the whole of their life...

4. Since this has gone long enough already, I'l end the article with this last one, and that is my life

as an army kid. Now typically, army kids in our country have been described as " (defense) brats", "spoilt", "over confident" etc on the one hand and "overly disciplined" and so forth on the other. Well, whatever the descriptions, the process of growing up as a 'defense kid' can second none.

Since its practically impossible to compare and list out all the differences and meaning of the process called "growing up' as a defense kid without starting a new article, I'm just going to try and mention a few of the important aspects:

Let's see:

• being exposed to the importance of ranks, seniors and subordinates, orders, discipline, adherence to strict uniforms and so on very very early in life, consciously or sub-consciously.
• Attending parties, knowing the difference between formal dress code functions and casual get - togethers, learning to wish everyone as soon as you meet
• Importance of taking up some kind of sports when you see all the adults around you do the same,
• Regular picnics, shopping at the canteen, dinners at the Mess, being able to run around the whole cant. relatively unsupervised just because of the safety of being inside the area knowing everyone knows whose son/daughter you are,
• knowing almost ALL of your neighbours - playing with the kids, visiting them, eating over, sleep overs and so on. and this could be never ending.
• But most important to me was the adjustments that came with moving around once every 2-3 years, making new friends in a jiffy, accepting new people and places and settling in without any fuss, getting used to new ways and patterns without complaints, keeping in touch with old friends through letters trying to keep a track of when they have shifted cities, all of which teaches a kid of that age important traits of "adjustment", "acceptance", "compromises", "mingling with others", "meeting, talking and making new friends" and so on......

Well, when I started writing this article, it was meant to be just a list, but as i kept on, it occured to me that each of these experiences are only mean the most precious to me (along with being the most difficult for me to describe the importance of to others), but have also shaped me into the person I am today. Each and every single one of them has taught me something new and instilled in me some quality or the other, good or bad(*wink)...and I am very thankful for these and other experiences that I have been able to experience in this short life of mine and for everything they have given me.

(And once again, I wish everyone would try these at least once in their lives before judging us mad *smiles...)